Sometimes I like my job

[ericcoleman]

Part of my job is answering the phones. A big part of that is fending off sales geeks. I can usually spot the bad ones pretty quickly.

The phone call I just got rang some bells from the first line. Here is how it went

Me: >insert company name here< Printing, this is Eric can I help you?
Sales Geek: What is the name of your shipping manager.

Ok, at this point I know that it is a cold call, otherwise this person would know at least one name to talk to. We have long standing corporate accounts that are not changeable by us. So my job is to say something like ...

Me: I can probably help you, what do you need? (and I usually can, since I know how most things are run in the building)
SG: I'd like the name of your shipping manager.
Me: I can help you, what do you need?
SG: The name of your shipping manager.
Me: I can help you.
SG: You're a dumb dick aren't you?
Me: I do my best (this said as he hangs up)

If he had been legit, he would have told me what he wanted. And I would have either pointed him to the right person or said that he needed to go to his next cold call. I do hope, for his sake, that his calls were't being recorded "to guarantee customer satisfaction".

Comments

I'd like to see a power point presentation on that

[mle292.livejournal.com]

*facepalm*

Depending on your personality, that sounds either frustrating or amusing. From what little I know of you, I'll guess amusing.

So, does insulting the person who answers the phone generally work well for salemen? Has there been market research on wheter "dumb dick" or "asshole" procures higer sales... I'm ever so curious.

Re: I'd like to see a power point presentation on that

[ericcoleman]

I am always amused by these people. It's almost a hobby really, collecting jerks.

[blur01.livejournal.com]

I was able to get a guy to curse at me over the phone once. I called back and talked with his manager.

"Im sorry, perhaps your sales person didnt realize that he was calling a church..."

[ericcoleman]

I don't TRY to frustrate them (well maybe a little), but ya know ... sometimes you just gotta ...

[blur01.livejournal.com]

I always let them know that I am NOT going to give them demographics information (human or computer oriented) about my company.

"I was trying to get ahold of your computer purchasing guy and I seem to have lost their name"

or my favorite

"do you have time to answer some questions?"

"No, I do not"

"Ok then, what is the..."

"Im sorry, perhaps you should stop reading your cheat sheet long enough to listen to my answer. I said no"

[jabber.livejournal.com]

Crap like this blows my mind.

[ericcoleman]

If you are a legit sales guy, the person who answers the phone is either your best friend or your worst enemy. If the guy had told me what he wanted (and I have a feeling it was a scam) I would have helped him out, either that calling us was a waste of his time or directing him to the right person.

[erik]

Packing tape scam, most likely.

[ericcoleman]

That was my guess ...

[jabber.livejournal.com]

It's the discourtesy that got me. I'm glad you got rid of him, but the manner of presuming you were a nobody is still inexcusable to me.

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Oy. What a waste of biomass.

[ericcoleman]

I thought he was kinda sweet ...

[greenmansgrove.livejournal.com]

We used to get calls at my company from copier supply places that would request the name of the person in charge of ordering copier supplies. They would then go hang up and place an order for supplies in the name of the person who's name was given to them.

We don't just give out information like that anymore.

[ericcoleman]

I tell them to call my corporate office and then I give them the National Toner Fraud Hotline number

[pheltzer.livejournal.com]

When I get those sort of calls I will generally tell them that Bob Dobolina is the person they need to speak with and give them a highly appropriate telephone number along the lines of 847-555-XXXX. Gotta love the fact that 555 exchange is reserved and not used in every area code so that Hollywood can play with it.

[ericcoleman]

If it's toner, I give them the National Toner Fraud Hotline number ... it's posted right here on my desk for just that reason

[ntrlstgrl.livejournal.com]

HOLY FRIGGING SHIT. Do you have caller ID so you could trace the call back? Unflippingbelievable.

[ericcoleman]

A place like that, they would have their number blocked anyway

[ntrlstgrl.livejournal.com]

'Tis true, 'tis true, and pity 'tis, 'tis true.

However...some of those numbers do come up sometimes and it has been GREAT FUN calling them back. *evil grin*

[ericcoleman]

We had callback on our lines at one point, made dealing with offices that sent a fax to our voice number much more simple

[bammba-m.livejournal.com]

You said three times, "i can help you" and you're the dumb one??

What a creep.

[barondave.livejournal.com]

I've been on the other side of that conversation, as a P-to-P phone rep. And I usually just tell the person on the line, "I'm looking for the name of the Shipping Manager so we can talk to the person making the decision about packing twine". That usually works, and if it doesn't it's still better than the conversation of yours. I'm a good salesman because I'm a lousy liar. Of course, I have to actually believe in the product I'm selling, which is why I don't do it anymore.

[awfulhorrid.livejournal.com]

I lasted as a 'phone agent' for exactly two and a half days, then I hated myself so much that I got up and walked out the door with barely a word to anyone there except "I quit."

Looking back, I kind of wish I'd stayed long enough to get payed for the two days of training. I could have really made the first two days up to myself by suggesting that the people I was calling look up the company on the BBB website ...

[devospice.livejournal.com]

Nice. :)

Whenever my boss gets a call like that he says, "Sure, hold please" then calls the local Chinese restaurant and conferences the two together. And hilarity ensues. The people at the Chinese restaurant have THICK accents and can barely understand English. Pretty much all they understand is the names of the food so they can take the order. It's funny as hell.

[ntrlstgrl.livejournal.com]

MMMMMM Chinese food...great...now I'm hungry.

That would have been a GREAT idea when I was still getting these types of calls. HA!!!

[ntrlstgrl.livejournal.com]

LOL I just thought of another idea...

"Sure - I'd be happy to give you that information; could you answer some questions for me first? What company do you work for? Could I get your contact information in case he's not at his desk - his voicemail is down. What are good times for him to call you back? Do you have a Web site we could visit for more information about your product?" Harass the dipshit back by peppering them with questions and they might go away...kill them with kindness. Hee hee hee.

[born-to-me.livejournal.com]

Hee! Oh, I love stuff like that.

My favorite old boss (well, okay, third favorite, with Bundle being the favorite) went by his middle name because he *loathed* his first name. It was only on contracts and some other documents, as his legal name. People used to call and use his first name and it was an almost automatic hangup for me... because I knew that his name had been sold on a list.

One guy called over and over again with the "Hey! Can I talk to [FirstName]? We're old buddies. He'll love to hear from me." I would ask to take a message, he'd refuse and hang up. Finally about the *millionth* time he called I said "Sir, have you not figured out that I am *always* the person that answers the phone, and that in order to get a message through to my boss you MUST a) leave a message with me and b) BE NICE TO ME?" He screamed obscenities at me and hung up, never to call again.

Idiots abound.

[ntrlstgrl.livejournal.com]

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....I like your answer...

This coming from the woman who also only answers to her middle name...it makes it VERY easy to tell when a telemarketer calls becaues they either A) ask for Connie or B) MANGLE "Jolie" 'cause they can't speak French.

Me is amused by your answer...LOL

[daddy-guido.livejournal.com]

Hee, hee. I have a VERY assertive admin who filters 90% of the sales-type calls i get, leaving me only people who have admitted they are trying to sell something, have identified themselves and their company, and have been told once that i am unlikely to give them more than 30 seconds or so to make their case.

When i or my salespeople make cold calls, and get someone like you on the phone, we try to enlist them to our cause.
We tell them who we are, who our company is, and what we do. We ask for the name of the person who would likely deal with us or buy our services in the organization. We explain that we are actully calling from our company, have reason to believe that we can benefit YOUR company, and will not make pests of ourselves if given the contact name.

Lots of times, we get really good information that gets us to the right person, and we get a legit shot at talking to them, which is all we really want. if they don't want to talk to us, we take them off our cold-call list, beacause it's a waste of their time and ours to hound them, and there are other people to call, some of whom need our services, and WILL want to talk with us.

I cannot understand, even a bit, why these basics are not followed in every sales training program.

[ericcoleman]

And people who do this get through, or get a very polite explanation why not (it would be a waste of their time).

And the reason this guy didn't follow that, he probably wasn't legit.