Eric's House Of Ego

Many of you have seen Jan's post this morning. Slayer asked me to post this for him.

From Jan:

To Slayer, and DucKon fandom as a whole,

It is my deepest regret that I lost control of my temper and publicly humiliated Megan and her tech crew on Friday night of DucKon this past June by calling the tech crew incompetent.

My anger continued on to Saturday, and I am sorry to say that I did not communicate well with the concert performers about how much time they had on stage. This led to more stress for the tech crew.

Instead of helping to overcome the challenges that DucKon Filk experienced, I behaved unprofessionally and had an unprofessional attitude before and during DucKon 19.

I apologize for my actions.

Please accept my apology.

Jan DiMasi

From Slayer's:

To DucKon Fandom,

At DucKon 19 I did several things that were inappropriate and deserve an apology. In attempting to fix a problem I allowed myself to yell at Jan DiMasi in a public area. In making the decision to have her step down, I allowed unsubstantiated rumors and assumptions to further my overreaction to Jan's behavior. Due to interaction with a fellow volunteer, I told Jan that her services were no longer required.

Now having had a couple of months to look at it, I feel that I owe the entire Filk community an apology for my actions. I hope my apology can start to heal the damage done; I am truly sorry for what has happened.

Finally, I owe an apology to Jan directly. In our meeting after the convention I was unclear as to what I expected of her to satisfy my wants to fix the situation. I later "fired her" rudely and with little explanation as to why. I was having some personal issues, and instead of delaying action until I could give the issue my full attention, I charged ahead and made things worse.

So to sum up, I blundered and unintentionally hurt many people. To all who feel wronged I say:

"I am truly sorry for my actions. Please find it in your hearts to forgive me."

David "Slayer" Kummerow

The end result:

Jan and Slayer have accepted each others’ apologies, which both felt should be as public as the original conflict. Moving forward, Jan has accepted the position of Filk Mentor and Second, to train and support Colleen “Xap” Esler, who has accepted the position of Filk Head for DucKon 20.

Eric's editorial comment:

I think we can all move on now. Everyone has been allowed to save a certain amount of face, and Duckon filk will continue. I intend to be there. Hopefully you will too.

I wrote this the other day, and it sizes up all of the conversations I have had with a lot of people this week. I'm terrified that there are some who will take this as a betrayal of the Filk Community. It is not. It is trying to make some sense, and find the truth in all of what happened at Duckon. Many of the folks involved have seen this, some of them have commented. The one thing I ask is that you keep this thread to trying to find ways to set things right. If you want to say "he/she did this" please go back to the previous threads.

=========================================================

I started out angry, like most people I know. I posted some angry things. I started getting comments in return. Some agreeing with me, some aghast at what happened, some from folks on the other side. And those comments were reasonable. So I started listening. I kept a hard line, but I listened. I dug into what was being said. I want information. I want to know what is going on. It is a mania of mine. I hate not knowing everything. Anytime I go on one of these crusades, and I do more often than is good for me, I know that I will come out the other side with a very different point of view than I started with.

I have talked to an awful lot of people the last week. I've heard a lot of points of view from both sides. These are my conclusions and do not reflect the opinions of anyone else. I'm trying to look at it from all angles. This has proved to be tricky.

First of all the issue of Jan and her termination. This will not be a popular opinion, but I feel that it has to be said. Jan acted horribly to Megan, on mike, on film, so there is no doubt about that, and I am afraid that, as I say that, a lot of the filk community will see that as a betrayal. She got fired and I can't, as someone who has been some sort of a performer for 35+ years now, disagree with the decision. You just don't do that.

The thing is I am also going to go into the con's mistakes. The fact that next years con chair posted his opinions on the front page of the website (it is now on an inner page) is what drove this thing through the roof, and got me going to start with. But the more I look at it, the "sinister plot to dethrone Jan" looks more and more like typically badly run con BS. Things happened, things went wrong. There is no doubt that Jan steps over a lot of boundaries, she is not a particularly politic person and has tunnel vision, which is what makes her an excellent department head, that is what makes the department she runs such a party and I will always go to her party if I possibly can. She is so passionate about what she does. Combine that with just a lot of bad luck and things going to hell, Jan blew up and ended up getting fired.

Jan has apologized, perhaps too late, but has and has owned up to her bad behavior. I have talked to next years con chair have said that the con needs to do the same. I posted some things a week or so ago, I addressed a lot of the problems in my FB page and David did come and answer most of my questions. He understands that he has handled this badly. I'm not saying reinstate Jan, but everyone needs to own up to what went wrong. She saw her department falling apart around her and went after the nearest suspect. People panic. Was it the right behavior … no. Was it typical human behavior … yes.

David acted well within his powers, and for good reason. The manner in which he did it, and then commented on it later was, in my opinion, as bad as what Jan did. Just as you do not call out your tech crew onstage, you do not call out members of your concom on the front page of the website. He regrets that to a very large degree. It was not how he meant it to be but we are a culture that tends to lack filters.

I see a lot of comments about never going to Duckon again. That can only hurt all of us. Most of the rest of the world thinks we're a bunch of weirdos and dammit, we are! But we're a small community. There are really not that many of us worldwide. I see so many people say "I hate >>put fannish category here<<. Fine, but it still belongs in fandom, because we are a small community. I didn't really get it till I heard Tom Smith call an audience "MY TRIBE". We're family here and families tend to squabble. We can't afford to splinter. The factions need to come together, not walk away from each other.

Some personal notes.

Megan took what I said as a direct attack on her. Looking back she had good reason to do so. This hurt her very much. I get so focused on things sometimes that I act in wildly insensitive ways. This was one of those times. I am so sorry. I acted like an idiot, I should not have said the things I said in public without talking to her first. I hope that you can forgive me, even if it is more than I deserve. You are just like one of my kids and I love you and I am always proud of you. You did the best you could in an impossible situation. I am shamed by my behavior. It goes back to that lack of filters thing.

Ann, I owe you so many apologies I don't know where to begin. I deserved everything you said to me Wednesday. Every word of it. I also said some terrible things about you in my FB page. Some in anger, some in a pathological need to be too fucking clever. Several years ago you saved my life. I have repaid you terribly. I hope that someday we can repair our friendship. If we can't it's because I don't deserve it.

David/Slayer … I asked you a question that no one should ever ask a married man. We have already talked about it, and chuckled our way through it. Consider it a dumb ass moment.

Back to the subject.

We all need to step up and own up to our screw ups. Things went wrong, badly wrong. There were bad things said, bad decisions made, and a lot of hate being thrown around. We are geeks together, we are artists together, we need to come together, not keep sniping at each other. We all need to be grownups and try to fix what happened.

I will be at Duckon next year. I hope that a lot of you will too. I hope that Jan will. We need to stick together, not fall apart.

I suppose I have to put forward my thoughts on Duckon.

I got there late, so some of this is what I heard, not what I saw. My final conclusions are my opinions, not of anyone else.

First of all the Dandelion Wine CD release party. From what I heard, this was cleared with the concom. The concom came and shut it down.

The wife of next years con chair came out of the main room and told Megan that she had the right to tell Jan to go fuck herself and was going to tell other concom members that they had her permission to do so. This in a public space.

None of the folks who Jan had arranged to have badges had badges. When I got there on Saturday this was still not straightened out. I know Jan, she gets her info in early.

For the record, I also made Megan cry, this when one of her staff was doing the worst job of running sound I have ever seen at a con, this the day after all of the sound issues were solved. I had watched poor Scott Snyder struggle through a set, little did he know that the sound guy was doing is best to make sure that he sounded even worse than he did (he had throat problems). The idgit was mixing the sound by sitting 10 feet in front of one of the PA speakers. It sounded fine where he was, it sounded like crap everywhere else in the room. When it was obvious that this was going to be the case for Talis (the big name filker from the UK) I spoke up ... fervently (you all know how I can be), and the guy finally did a half way decent job. Halfway. I am by no means a professional sound guy, but I could have solved any of the problems they were having at that moment in a verse and a chorus. This guy simply didn't want to. He also talked on his cel phone, and at one point in Talis's concert carried on a full voice conversation 15 feet from her. At that point I snapped and got Megan's attention and mouthed at her to tell him to SHUT THE FUCK UP. She told him (a little more politely I would guess) and he came over to me all pumped up and said, in a nice macho aggressive way "IS THERE A PROBLEM". "Yeah, you are talking during someone's show, it's rude". Since it was obvious that I was not afraid of him, he walked away.

After that show Megan took me and Gundo aside and told us that the powers that be had told her that Toyboat was to have no sound support, this for an electric band. She told us that she was going to do it anyway.

I'd like to say for the record that I think Megan did the best she could, but that she was thrown into the deep end with no way of getting out. I feel terrible for her. She's a long standing member of the WSPA and one of "my kids". I think the way she was treated was shameful. But not the way she was treated by Jan, that was just Jan's natural frustration at the behaviour of the concom. Unfortunately Megan got the brunt of it.

Now for my opinions on this ...

Now the concom is doing it's best to make Jan look bad, to save their asses. Filk was a target that weekend. Jan had a lot of power, and that had been upsetting some of the folks on the concom. They took a bad moment and used it to get rid of her, but if you look at what happened that weekend, it is Jan who is owed an apology.

As for the future of Duckon filk. It's dead kids, you killed it. I feel bad for Gary, FINALLY a GOH next year (bout time that a major con did this, he's brilliant), but who is going to be there to see him. There is no major filker who will touch Duckon now and there is no one who could bring anyone in who will take the job. The word is already going through the community that one of the most beloved figures in the community was treated abysmally. And she was.

Toyboat will be at ...

Penguicon
Jean has put together an exceptional music track. It's gonna be fun

Demicon
I gotta say I am pretty darn proud of the music track I put together for Demicon.

Duckon
And of course Duckon. Filk Hall Of Fame Inductee Jan DiMasi always puts on an amazing weekend of music. Don't miss it.

I will also be doing a solo show at Demicon. Be afraid, I haven't played solo in a long time (no fiddlers this time).

I'm tired. It was a much longer drive. But I am home.

The weekend was a fun. As I posted earlier, the show went very well. I didn't play much in the circles. Between travel and band, it just wasn't in the cards this time around. I played three songs all weekend. I did Dancer with sweetmusic_27 friday night. Saturday night I played WYSIWYG complete with some new jokes in the middle section. Then the 2nd highlight of the weekend (after the Toyboat show), Hides with sweetmusic_27 AND aaanda, one on either side of me. It was astounding.

I want to apologize to fleetfootmike ... I ... Missed ... Your ... Show.
Geeze I'm a gerbil sometimes.

Over all it was a good weekend. I had a lot of fun. I am off to bed now.

The movie quiz may be a day late, I have the theme and the movies picked out, but I don't think I put the quotes together yet. I'll know when I get to work tomorrow.

So, how was your weekend?

The north route it is ... I'm hitting the road. If all goes well, I should be there 4ish.

I am playing in Ames this Tuesday at 8 at the Ames Progressive office

I'm playing at Capricon February 15 - 5pm in the internet cafe, as well as running Radio Capricon all weekend. More information on that soon.

I am a part of The Marscon Dementia Track - February 29 - March 2. I'm playing friday night, which means you get to hear a couple of songs that I usually don't do at cons ... be afraid, this is going to be a more ... well ... let's just say that I am dipping back into my roots a little bit

I will be at Conestoga July 25-27. According to their recent new release I am playing friday night and saturday afternoon. The other musician verified is Bland Lemon Denton, (he's the guy who wrote Buddy Holly is Alive and Well and Living on Ganamede a very silly book that I dearly love).

And of course ... The Toyboat 2008 (we'll have a name for it soon) Tour

Toyboat Shows
Demicon - May 2-4
Duckon - June 13-15
Archon - October 3-5

I had no voice, which is not unusual ... ok, even less voice than I normally have, but Andy dragged me along.

Nice Guys
The Woman I Want
Color Of Your Eyes
Pine City Motel Blues
In Crosby Park

At this point Andy made a comment about Standards ... Looking at the set list I said that we weren't doing Standards ... just living proof that Andy can read, and I can't. He later said that I ruined a good pun, so consider it a public service on my part.

Wilderness Of Smiles
Trophy Wife
Standards (since I finally realized that it was in the set list)
Don't Go Home (on the 12 string)
How Can I Miss You?
Hides

THe highlights for me ...

Andy's playing lit up Don't Go Home. I had several people say how good it was ... and it felt ever better onstage.

Later last night was the premiere of a new band.

gundo, anach, mike46 and I have banded together to do ... well ... bad things. Filk in a rock band context. The name of the band is Toyboat and we describe ourselves as Filk Gone Horribly Right. Last night we did

The Lady - TTO - Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald
&
The Mary O'Meara Blues

There are more songs planned, and we will be adding to the repetoire as time goes along, I'm hoping on being ready to play by Cap, since I won't be at Windy. It was rough last night, but if we can do that well without really all practicing together at the same time, I shudder to think what will happen once we do.

I took some of my gear to the car, went up to get my acoustic and came back down for one more song.

Hides started slow and quiet, but somewhere in the middle Andy took over and it turned into the edgiest version we have ever done. It was wonderful.

Even with my health being a little wonky, I had a marvelous weekend. Now I need to go load out and catch some more music, and get to my last panel.

How was your weekend?

This just in ... I got the confirmation this morning. The show at Duckon will indeed be The Eric And Andy show ... be afraid.

This is what happens when you get exapno and me on the phone.

Thank ya darlin ... it's good to be at Duckon in SOME way