As someone who most emphatically does not have a dog in this fight, but knows a lot of people who do, I was very concerned about the initial posts I read about this situation from you and others. The stuff I was seeing, on all sides, was not adding up to match anything I know about the people involved or the way things typically happen at cons.
I'm glad there is at least one person (Eric) who has gone to the trouble of putting all the pieces together and posting this thoughtful analysis of it. And although I am not optimistic -- this is fandom, after all -- I hope it never happens again (just like I hoped the last umpteen times).
On the bright side, I think the lack of filters does help us in one way. I think people with better filters than we have are more likely to just let something slide, or avoid speaking up when something is wrong in order to avoid a confrontation. Those are the "happy couples" who end up in messy divorces or homicide cases, and the "seemed so normal" people who end up in jail for beating up their kids or axe-murdering half a dozen teenagers. I'd rather we hurled a hundred tons of invective at each other in Facebook than sat in frustrated silence until we completely cracked.
All feelings are valid. It's the choices we make and the actions we take that determine how (and whether) we achieve peace.
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Date: 2010-07-15 02:38 pm (UTC)I'm glad there is at least one person (Eric) who has gone to the trouble of putting all the pieces together and posting this thoughtful analysis of it. And although I am not optimistic -- this is fandom, after all -- I hope it never happens again (just like I hoped the last umpteen times).
On the bright side, I think the lack of filters does help us in one way. I think people with better filters than we have are more likely to just let something slide, or avoid speaking up when something is wrong in order to avoid a confrontation. Those are the "happy couples" who end up in messy divorces or homicide cases, and the "seemed so normal" people who end up in jail for beating up their kids or axe-murdering half a dozen teenagers. I'd rather we hurled a hundred tons of invective at each other in Facebook than sat in frustrated silence until we completely cracked.
All feelings are valid. It's the choices we make and the actions we take that determine how (and whether) we achieve peace.